Thursday, February 25, 2010

Rebellion

Currently driving my car is probably the closest experience I will get to ice skating over a lake of frozen puppies. It leaves me feeling cold and drained and besides which, I don't know how to skate.

I blame the universe for this. I believe that I am a good blameless person most of the time, if a bit neurotic and needy some of the time. I pick up pieces of stray litter, tut-tutting at the carelessness of some people. I spare a thought for the homeless person, wondering where they sleep and what their life must be like and how lucky I am that that's not me. I have my car's oil and water checked every time I fill up, along with the tire pressure, done according to the instructions in the booklet. I have it filled up with the right kind of petrol for the altitude I am currently driving on. I care for it, since it's my car and she gets me places.

Then what happens? Some soulless, careless, sorry excuse for a human being goes and fills my car with leaded petrol. It's kind of like someone taking a horse that you have carefully raised and groomed over the years and force feeding it large amounts of gristle made from new born puppies. This makes me unhappy.

I suppose this could be a very expensive lesson in "always-check-that-he's-really-filling-up-with-unleaded", but you know what: I'm a busy person. I have thoughts to explore and fantasies to fulfill. I have needs. I can't be expected to look after another person completely unrelated to my frame of reference, to make sure he/she is doing their job. That's why I blame the universe. Obviously it did something to this creature to make him wake up that day and decide to be a dick, filling unleaded cars with leaded, diesel bakkies with syrup and washing windscreens with his own urine.

So I blame you universe and just for that one I will no longer be picking up stray bits of litter, I will laugh at homeless people while thinking that that could never be me and I will aim my stuttering wreck of a once wonderful car at old people on walkers. So there.

3 comments:

  1. love it. welcome you clever thing.

    i don't blame the universe, i blame the stupid douchebag dumbass who put the wrong petrol in. damn him!

    saying douchebag and dumbass always makes me feel better.

    blog on!

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  2. asswipe and fuckwit are my faves. thanx babes!

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  3. Rebellious. I like it. I think the universe sucks too!

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