Thursday, February 25, 2010


Currently driving my car is probably the closest experience I will get to ice skating over a lake of frozen puppies. It leaves me feeling cold and drained and besides which, I don't know how to skate.

I blame the universe for this. I believe that I am a good blameless person most of the time, if a bit neurotic and needy some of the time. I pick up pieces of stray litter, tut-tutting at the carelessness of some people. I spare a thought for the homeless person, wondering where they sleep and what their life must be like and how lucky I am that that's not me. I have my car's oil and water checked every time I fill up, along with the tire pressure, done according to the instructions in the booklet. I have it filled up with the right kind of petrol for the altitude I am currently driving on. I care for it, since it's my car and she gets me places.

Then what happens? Some soulless, careless, sorry excuse for a human being goes and fills my car with leaded petrol. It's kind of like someone taking a horse that you have carefully raised and groomed over the years and force feeding it large amounts of gristle made from new born puppies. This makes me unhappy.

I suppose this could be a very expensive lesson in "always-check-that-he's-really-filling-up-with-unleaded", but you know what: I'm a busy person. I have thoughts to explore and fantasies to fulfill. I have needs. I can't be expected to look after another person completely unrelated to my frame of reference, to make sure he/she is doing their job. That's why I blame the universe. Obviously it did something to this creature to make him wake up that day and decide to be a dick, filling unleaded cars with leaded, diesel bakkies with syrup and washing windscreens with his own urine.

So I blame you universe and just for that one I will no longer be picking up stray bits of litter, I will laugh at homeless people while thinking that that could never be me and I will aim my stuttering wreck of a once wonderful car at old people on walkers. So there.


  1. love it. welcome you clever thing.

    i don't blame the universe, i blame the stupid douchebag dumbass who put the wrong petrol in. damn him!

    saying douchebag and dumbass always makes me feel better.

    blog on!

  2. asswipe and fuckwit are my faves. thanx babes!

  3. Rebellious. I like it. I think the universe sucks too!