Thursday, May 13, 2010

On the subject of exes, or, How I learnt to stop worrying and love my boyfriend

So le boyfriend's art page on Facebook has gone live, for those of you who might have missed my shameless, almost non-stop attempts at promoting it for the past week.

[If you look to your left you will see a like box. You now have the urge to press the like button. Do not fight this urge. Press it. Press it now. My voice is the only thing you can hear. I know you want it.]

Aaannndd you're back! What was I saying? Oh yes. Le boyfriend's ex is a dick and I want to take a dump on his lungs.

Whew! Harboring homicidal tendencies sure does take it out of you! Actually I've never even met the guy. I just hate him in principle, after all the wonderfully entertaining anecdotes I've heard of him. I don't think this makes me a bad person, because I get along just swimmingly with all the other ex-boyfriends/shags, no problem.

That's because they are all decent people. Whereas you, Mr. Fuckface, I will personally disembowel and display your entrails on the nearest bridge over the N1. Just a friendly little warning. Toodles!

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